Photo credit: Cristina Gottardi

Photo credit: Cristina Gottardi

Add dialogue.

Dialogue draws us into the scene and helps us imagine the characters' personality and mood.

Instead of telling us how the character feels - show us through the character's inner dialogue with others and with him/herself. Go through your story and change some telling sentence to dialogue. 

Here is an example from Cocktails in Attica by Sherman “O.T.” Powell

They said, “Sherman! Don’t worry about a thing! We’re going to look out for you, man, because you looked out for us when we was in the street.”

I said, “Thank you, Lord!”

So I’m thinking to myself, I got a pack-a-day cigarette habit, I got a candy jar with little Snickers in them, but I’m only getting $20 a goddamn month from the state. So I got to come up with some type of fucking hustle to get me some cigarettes and candy. Right?