by Dyane Neiman
FINDING AUTHENTICITY & VULNERABILITY
Ryan was asked to give a keynote speech on the topic of self-development at a very large gathering Java-related IT professionals from around the world. He had a lot of personal experience to share: a rag-to-riches background which peaked with working inhumane long hours. Instead of returning to his expensive Manhattan condo, he often just slept under his desk. One morning he awoke, laying on his office floor, lookd out of the floor-to-ceiling windows at the Statue of Liberty. He had an „aha“ moment: what is the purpose of my life?
I was sincerely moved from his various personal experiences, but Ryan was really, really sure he wanted to base his talk on a series of inspiring books he had read. He didn't believe that was he learned through his own experiences would be "enough“ for his audience. So, he had decided to base his talk on the ideas of others that he admired.
The problem was that he didn't sound authentic, fresh, or original. I realized that in this short amount of time, Ryan could truly embody on one person's message: his! And instead he had been trying to embody someone's message. It wasn't convincing.
It took a lot of persuasion to finally convinced Ryan to share his own personal experiences and what he had learned from them. It was a decision that took a lot more courage and vulnerability. Revealing his own mistakes in front of an audience of peers, was taking Ryan definitely out of his comfort zone. Once he jumped into the cold water, Ryan suddenly became so much more authentic and sincere.
This is the text message I received after his talk at the Java Convention:
Ryan Sivan, entrepreuner, business speaker; November 4, 2015
“Oh my god. I nailed it.
People lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvved me. (Yeah, with that many v’s).
All thanks to you. I’d be nothing and crying in a dumpster without you.
It really means a lot, all the help you have done all these days. You’re the best coach there is.
Side note, I have been invited to speak in another conference in Romania, been offered a business opportunity and I have advised 3 businesses in the last 2 hours after my speech.
Apart from me trying to get away from the crowd that kept asking me questions. I know that it was all you, your structures and your coaching …